Freedom & Forgiveness

What if there were no right or wrong...
No good or bad...
What if we were free from judging ourselves and others...

Imagine the freedom of no longer needing to prove your worth. Able to engage or take part because you want to, not because you have an over whelming drive to redeem yourself. No longer needing to convince yourself and others that you are good, because good is an illusion, a man made construct.
Instead there were situations that occurred, that impacted your human experience. Situations that gave you lessons and wisdom otherwise unattainable, at least not to the depth that you've learnt them. What would this mean?

It would mean that you would need to surrender your identity... victim, abuser, bully, survivor.
These lenses would need to be forfeit. Could you do it? What would it mean to no longer identify as a victim? Looking at your space and story from a place of complete neutrality. The course that was set in motion, the responses you had, the actions that you took or didn't take. You would have to stop making excuses, or punishing yourself and others. You would drop those judgement of right or wrong, good or bad. You would no longer be able to hold your pain against others... or yourself. Instead you would see that there was a story at play. That it took you on a journey, perhaps it was dark, or hard. Maybe it scarred you emotionally, physically or psychologically. That journey was chalked full of experience and medicine. Not right or wrong, just what was.

It would mean that you would be free. Free to look at your story for exactly what it is... a Souls journey here to have a human experience. This is how you heal, really heal.
For if you can surrender this, then you will understand what it means to forgive.
Dream beautiful dreams my friends

Whispers from Eagle

In the traditions of my matriarchal lineage, Eagle is the messenger. Eagle flies the realm of Spirit, between ourselves and creator, delivering the messages and our prayers. Eagles bird's eye view is meant to hint to us to see the bigger dream unfolding. Eagle represents the higher truths that go beyond the constructs of human kind.

It was when I moved from the prairies to the lush west coast of Vancouver Island that I received the teachings that here, Eagle represents TRANSFORMATION. We are reminded that just like Eagle we too can take flight and transcend who we thought we were and all that we thought we knew. Journeying with this teaching touched ancestry, identity and the great mystery of origins. For those that are willing to lean in to that last sentence, there is star dust sprinkled to guide the way to a much deeper dream, but for the rest, let us continue on with this dream at hand.

You see I am a Nomadic Dreamer. I see and feel the earth shifts, sensing the dreams unfolding around me. I see the connections between stories and experiences, bridging them together. This is why I am able to guide others so well in their stories to see the bigger meanings that are unfolding.

It was January of 2019 that I came upon a story about the Eagles across the island being affected by a respiratory virus. This story vibrated through my space. I could feel the urgency and the importance in this story that was asking us to take note. With the great importance of this bird as the sacred messenger I wondered what this meant and knew that it may be a prophecy unfolding, without the understanding of what was being shown. I looked towards my own story and the over lapping of dealing with my own sudden lung issues. I knew I was being guided to go on a Shamanic journey.

I delved into my lungs and began to feel into what was behind the symptoms. It took me to grief and I went into the story of my fathers death when I was five years old. I explored this story and connected to his own medical journey before his passing. I allowed myself to grieve here today from something that I was unable to grieve the yesterdays. I journeyed to my teenager years and watching the loss of my brother to a world of addiction and a transient lifestyle. I allowed myself to grieve the loss of the brother that I had known and looked up to. Acceptance was a big piece of this story, to accept that he came here for a human experience and that his journey was his own. I laid in bed for days feeling the grief wash over me. Allowing the tears to flow and the pain to wash up and release. I then made way to explore my identity and began to transcend who I had known myself to be. I remind you that the stories that unfold in the form of our daily experiences are meant to give us the journey of where we are being guided to learn, to grow and to heal, this is what a true Shamanic Journey is.
Shame and guilt... this is where I was guided next. I delved deep into the depths of my experiences and was asked to shed shame and guilt and to heal the core of my experiential stories, the depths of my darkest shadow. This was among the most difficult experiences, yet freeing, that I have journeyed through.This touched the deepest shadows of my family's stories, tied together like a string on an explicit and intrinsic web. I was diagnosed with COPD, a degenerative lung disease and I knew that I needed to go deeper so that I could heal to the depths of the stories of my ancestors.

I delved into intensive breath work with a trusted facilitator and went deeper then I had ever gone before while opening my heart and breathing into my cellular memories. I released so many, I could feel them bubbling out of me. I touched the healing of my Ancestors, releasing cultural genocide, the trauma of residential schools, loss of identity, the death of ones Spirit. I breathed life back into me, connecting deeper to myself and Source then I had ever connected in this lifetime. I touched the essence of my true self and allowed myself to feel the depths of the grief that I carried in my lungs, the loss of the deep connection to the essence of my Soul. I excepted, I released, I connected. My lungs began to heal and today I live symptom free, and perhaps disease free.

Spirit said "Go, guide others now" and I set off. 

These past five months I have been a guide to a group of Women on a private healing Moonlodge journey where they have shifted their lens of perception, they released their guilt and shame and they too touched the essence of whom they are. This journey comes to a close this month as we end in the cycle in Metamorphosis, the moon of transformation. This moon is about a willingness to change and transform, it's about reaching a new season of our life. 

Just as when Eagle, the messenger, showed up a year ago to bring us a prophecy, my Dreamer is once again seeing the bigger story unfolding in the dreaming, seeing the connections on the great web and weaving them together. So what is it that this prophecy is saying...Transform the condition that is shame, guilt and regret. You see when we live in shame, guilt, regret, we punish ourselves, we punish others. We create separation and division, we live in fear. When we free ourselves from these conditioning we except our experiences, allowing the motions of grief and ultimately returning to a place of connection on the great web, in balance with nature and in true connection to the essence of who we really are and what is truly important, connection to Source, as Source. We know that it is in isolation that we touch silence, all of the teachers before us and around the world speak to the importance of a practice of silence... because it is through silence that we touch connection and live in connection. 

So except isolation and silence, Walk in nature, breath, meditate, drum, sing, dance, dream, chant, garden... whatever it is that brings you to that sacred space, touch it and then come and connect. 

Dream beautiful dreams my friends.

Serena Winterburn

All that She may Weave

There is a Goddess that spans cultures and continents. Here on Turtle Island (the Americas) we call her by the name Spider Woman or Grandmother Spider, in ancient Mesopotamia she was called Uttu, and the ancient Greeks called her by Arachne. The earliest recorded spider goddess was the ancient Egyptian Neith. No matter the name that we associate with her, she is known as a spider goddess who weaves the mysteries of creation and destiny.
She brings us to the garden of the Spider, where we quest to truly know ourselves. She is the bringer of fears in the form of challenges, urging us to move through. Dare to learn, dare to grow, dare to heal, for the great web awaits us as we awaken to the knowing that we, like spider, are cocreater of the destiny's yet to be dreamt.
When Grandmother Spider appears to you, know that the web is at your fingertips. That she presents the means to awaken to the great web, if you are ready to face your fears and to quest past all of your programming, all of your indoctrination, past your lens of perception. For it is with Grandmother Spider that we are able to access the great mysteries of life.
In a dream I was shown the great woven cloth of Neith, a bolt of fabric that folded upon itself. She brought my gaze to a small thread that emerged from a piece of the cloth. She explained that this thread represented all of the accumulated knowledge that all of human kind has accessed from the great web. I took that in for a moment, this tiny tip of a thread that slightly emerged from this great bolt of fabric... In all of our knowledge and understanding, there was still so much more out there that we couldn't even begin to know.
"Dare to surrender, dare to see, dare to awaken to the web" she whispers, "dare to awaken to your true self".

Blue Moon; The Big stories hunt us...

This year we start it off with something pretty special. A Blue Moon usually comes every 3 years, but this year we see two Blue Moons, both just within months of each other, a super moon, blood moon and an eclipse. Talk about kicking the year off with some real power!.

If looking at the blue moon from the perspective of the Medicine Wheel, it would be the thirteenth moon. During a full moon we see emergency rooms and women's shelters fill up, showing us that we are in fact influenced by cosmological events. It's fascinating to watch these influences unfold as we approach such an event.  There's no denying how apparent of an influence the moon has on us, however a Blue Moon is so much more impacting.

I've taken the time these past few weeks to look at the stories that have been coming to me, especially this past week. As we approach this first Blue Moon it seems that there is a collective theme taking place, the theme of being faced with our shadow. Friends and family are being faced with their illusions, addictions, and attitudes. Things that do not serve them but that they cling to as part of their identity.

The thirteen moon is a moon of initiation. Meant to push you, test you and challenge you. Blue Moon initiations are about the real issues in our lives, the bigger lessons that are awaiting us. What stories have been coming up for you, what lessons are you being asked to look at? You can be sure that these initiations will not be evaded.

This moon asks that we look at our selves, our stories and our issues that ask for resolve, growth and healing. There is an Aborigine saying that "the big stories hunt us".What stories have you been living, what lessons have been hunting you?  There are those who have been undergoing growth, facing issues and lessons as they approach and there are those who stubbornly hold fast to their egos, trying to evade the lessons that are close on their heels.
Watch for big lessons coming in with an impact, forcing you to take notice.
Its no wonder that the influences of this moon are bringing some people to their knees, humbling them with the intention that something has finally got to give.

Not only are we facing two Blue Moons, but an Eclipse! Pairing an eclipse with a Blue Moon means that we will be tested and challenged and will certainly be brought face to face with our shadow. What do you do when pushed and tested? What hidden shadow will surface looking for resolve? When we face what is there in our space we have to opportunity to gain wisdom, to touch the healing we need in our stories and to grow into our potential.
Bask in the energy of these Blue Moons, as this is a rare and powerful medicine.

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Wisdoms of the Moon

Ten years ago I began a journey to connect with the Feminine. I didn't know it at the time, but I was stepping out onto my spiritual path which lead me to delving into my personal relationship with the feminine.

I began to attend the Moonlodge, a place for Women to gather monthly under the full moon. During this gathering it is a time to journey with the moon, the Goddess, the Grandmothers, the feminine and to heal and empower ourselves in our stories.

Its interesting how much you think you know, until you realize that you had no idea. I chuckle to myself as I think back to that time. It was through the Moonlodge that I came to face my personal relationship with the feminine. When I speak of the feminine I speak of the phases of the moon, the Grandmothers, the Goddess, Mother Earth, myself as a woman, my role as mother, daughter, sister, wife. I speak of the physical act of bleeding the life giving blood, and the power and medicine that Woman step into as they embrace their Moontime and cycles.

I learned to honor my symptoms, and recognize the purpose that they held. I journeyed with the Goddess and began my healing journey with my inner children. I opened my eyes to the Sacredness of the Feminine and the natural connection that woman have. This connection to the feminine goes back to woman from all across the globe,  spanning every culture and every race. I embraced this ancient wisdom that all women once knew.

We live in a time when Women's life giving blood is meant to be a secret, a shameful secretive time that we don't talk about. But this was not always so... In ancient times First Nation people of the Americas recognized that Women were in their power when they bled. That they had a strong natural connection to the Mother as they were the life bearers. When Women bled their time was honored in the Moonlodge. Men of the tribe would come and have the Women on their Moon time bead their belts, sew their regalia, etc. It was recognized that the Women in their power were connected to creation and that all created by Women at this time was blessed by this power. It is a time that we step into our visionaries and have visions for our personal journeys, our families and for our communities. A time to pay attention to our dreams and our feelings. A time that we become so hypersensitive to people, their stories, nature, and the dreaming. A time of power.

I share this story this week as I welcome my own daughter to this sacred time. Marking this rite of passage with a welcoming ceremony, surrounded by her aunties and cousins as we share our journey and pass on the wisdoms that we have touched. Knowing that one day she will look back and know it was a rare gift that she received on the night of her first moon, and pray that I will be here to sit in ceremony once again with my daughters and to one day welcome my granddaughters to the wisdom of the Moon.

If you are interested in connecting to the wisdom of the Moon, and woman's ceremonies please join me in Moonlodge.

Source, the place of origins

In this world of mass information at our fingertips and being surrounded by such a diversity of culture and spirituality, I find that I often bare witness to the time old saying "this is the right way".
I grew up in a family of diverse heritage, my mother being First Nations with a strong Catholic upbringing intermingled with First Nation beliefs and culture. My father was a Muslim with traditional Islamic views intermingled with a more lenient expression of them. During my childhood I explored various avenues of Christianity and my adult hood brought me down the path of traditional First Nation culture and ceremony as well as Shamanism from a First Nations perspective and from a New Age perspective. You dont have to have lived a multicultural, spiritual and racial upbringing to  find teachings on these various perspectives. One just needs to type their inquiry into any search engine to peek into these many views.

Today I found myself in conversation with a friend who comes from a Christian background. Later this evening while visiting with my sister she brought up the controversy between traditional First Nations spirituality verse New age Shamanism. I found myself reflecting on these two exchanges. Its so easy for any one religion, culture or even teacher to claim that their way is the one true way, any deviation considered a bastardization of the teachings.. If my experiences have taught me anything it is that all things stem from the same Source. Regardless of the name given, it comes from the same origin.

When I quiet my thoughts and listen with my heart, I find that I can feel and hear so much more. My thoughts of what is right or wrong, what I have been told or learnt step back and I can hear truths in many things. These truths can be felt moving through river stones, trees, animals, ceremony, spirituality and even organized religion. If we quiet our intellectual thoughts and egos, and we let what I call our human condition go still, this makes room for Spirit to speak. Spirit does not speak to just one people or region. There is a whole planet filled with many lands and many people. Spirit speaks in each of these places. It feels quite arrogant and naive for me to assume that what is spoken to me is but the only way. Spirit spoke long ago before the birth of religion, there has been and still is expression of these sacred whispers. Each of us but a vessel filled with our own human ego and experience uniquely expressing these whispers.

Often when in session with clients they bring up messages that had been delivered by other practitioners, or spiritual advisers. They often ask, how do I know who to listen to, or who is right? I explain that all things come from the same Source. Each religion and spirituality is but an expression of this source, and each individual yet an interpreter of the message. When looking at where the message is coming from, look at the vessel delivering the message. Each of our issues, wounds, experiences, lessons, and perspectives touch the message. We are the filter that this message comes through. How do we filter it, shape it to fit our beliefs and understandings, do we taint it with our reactions and wounds?  When I look to other advisers and healers I always look at their journey and ask, have they done their own journey of healing? Have they faced and continue to face their own egos? Are they confined within a box that they hold onto under the name of tradition or religion? These are bold questions, but in a world of many expressions these questions need to be asked.

I leave you with the image of an egg newly laid and in time hatching, in the kingdom of animals new life is birthed and the transition from child to elder to dust continues. Earth, she spins. Each rotation brings the passing of day into night and seasons too pass from Spring,through Summer and Autumn into Winter. As the earth spins our view of the night sky shifts, our eyes falling on different constellations, and yet the night sky we peer upon tonight is different then the night sky that our ancestors looked upon. Some stars long ago extinguished, the moon further from earth then she once was centuries ago. All things are constantly in motion and change. An Elder once told me that our ancestors followed the stars, based the teachings of the medicine wheel on the constellations.  They understood that all things cycled and were in motion and they too allowed for this change. They followed Spirit, not just the way of their ancestors before them, so that they could continue this natural evolution that all things follow. If you find yourself asking, or perhaps boldly claiming that your way or belief is the "right way" then ask yourself if you have anchored yourself within your views. Are you learning from those before, yet allowing for Spirit to speak today? Are you listening with your heart? 

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Dreaming with the Land & the Ancestors

An Elder once told me that we dream with the land.
I remember when I first journeyed from the prairies to the majestic west coast. The scenery was awe inspiring. On our journey home we drove across the province and made our way to the interior of the Okanagan, I became aware that there was a shift of energy that had taken place. We continued our journey making our way through the Rocky Mountains, again the energy completely shifted, until we made our way to the land of the Prairies. A feeling so familiar that it resonated as home.  In the weeks that followed I reflected on the shifts of the land that I had felt.

It was while I attended a workshop in Montreal that I was brought back to explore the energy of the land and how it speaks to us. This energy was felt instantly as I left the airport and made my way across the country side of Quebec. My gaze was drawn to the trees as I found myself wondering who planted those trees, were they native to the land, who were the settlers who first farmed this land, and the First Nations that tended to this land as their Ancestors before them. I could feel the stories and history just beyond, as though somehow the veil between the worlds was thinner here.

A recent move to the West Coast has me once again journeying with the land. In the first few months here I found myself mourning the familiar grounding feeling of the prairies. Its not only the grounding signature of that land, but also the Ancestors who walked there before us. We touch these stories in our day to day, often unaware. These stories help to create the culture of our society and every so gently impact our attitudes and way of being.

The land has a unique energy signature that is different from place to place. Some say that it is the lay lines that run through the Earth, creating vortexes where these lines come together. Our Ancestors may not have called them lay lines, but they were aware of these energy signatures in the land. It is no coincidence that most sacred sites are located where these lay lines meet.

These energy signatures are not only felt physically but also have an impact on our dreams.
My new venture has me once again exploring the land, how it impacts me, where I feel it in my body, the stories I feel here, the history of the land, and the subtle shift in my night dreams. The energy of the land speaks to us, whispering her story through the stories of the people here. She always has, if you look into the history of the peoples of the land you will find her whispers echoing.

In the same way that the land impacts our stories, our stories impact the land. She absorbs them and they intermingle with her signature ever so subtly flavoring her story as salt to cuisine. If we pay attention to our night dreams we see these same shifts as we dream in different landscapes. The energy in our dreams shift, the places we go to while dreaming, and the ancestors who visit us.

There is much to be learnt from the land, and there are dreams that we have access to that we otherwise may not have. Dreaming with a Cedar tree on the west coast will give you access to different dreams than dreaming with a Pine tree in Alberta.

What is the land whispering to you, what Ancestors may come visiting or be showing you their story through impressions, history and dreams?